Tag: faith and identity

  • Embrace Your Heart’s Banana Slug (Sacred Design)

    Embrace Your Heart’s Banana Slug (Sacred Design)

    (Note: Writing from July 20, 2025 when I was living on the south coast of Oregon.)

    Shortly after moving out west, I stumbled upon the Pacific Banana Slug.

    Every single time this creature slides across my path, I learn a new fun fact about its sacred design. This metaphorical rabbit hole I’ve fallen down has been endlessly intriguing. 

    With each encounter, this endearing slug has made me feel all the feels, while inspiring me to embrace my own sacred design—

    • I’ve laughed aloud hysterically, listening to a zoologist talk through one of their bizarre rituals (I’ll let you dig up that unique gem on your own).
    • I’ve had my mind blown while learning about the subtle nuances behind their versatile slime—it’s an adhesive, it’s a lubricant, and it can absorb large amounts of water.
    • I’ve even cried standing in a coast redwood forest, reading about their role in the broader ecosystem. They are a staunch defender of the redwood seedlings, devouring the vegetation that tries to stifle their growth.

    With every fascinating fact, I’ve stood in awe at how God continues to use this unique creature to provide a new perspective or nugget of wisdom that I needed in the moment.

    Embrace your sacred design

    As God has me in a season where He is rewilding “My Unruly Garden” (my heart space), this creature has encouraged me to embrace the hidden, and at times not so hidden, eccentric layers of my raw authentic self.

    rewild 

    re·​wild (ˌ)rē-ˈwī(-ə)ld

    to return to a more natural or wild state to make or become natural or wild again

    From its quirky rituals to its versatile slime, the banana slug reminds us that even the most overlooked parts of God’s creation are marked with a sacred design—and so are we.

    Culture rewards polish, packaging, monotony — But God rewards obedience to aligning with who He created us to be. He’s a wildly creative God who planted unique treasures that are hidden within the deepest layers of our heart space. He made us wonderfully unique. And overtime this world subtly layers on masks of protection to tuck those treasures away. To hide our heart’s banana slug.

    “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

    ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    While navigating my current walk with God to peel back these layers of worldly conditioning, I’m observing how those surface layers are a packaged façade that mimics “authenticity” but isn’t our raw, authentic, god-given design. We created those false masks to fit in, to survive the harsh critics of humanity, or to hide our core wounds.

    It’s hard to fully embody who He created us to be when the world often works against it. Judging us, mislabeling us, misinterpreting us.

    So we tell ourselves our masks we wear for protection are authentic, but when you spend time truly examining the mask, you realize it’s simply a more acceptable plastic label society created to hide our vulnerable, unique aspects that were shamed, judged, or damaged over time. And it takes time to peel back and discard these masks, unearthing and fighting for our raw authentic relics that are buried treasure in a world that drives you to fit in.

    Fight for your raw authenticity

    Did you know the students at UC Santa Cruz fought for five years for their school mascot to be the banana slug? They resonated with this odd, yet endearing creature. The administration wanted sea lions, an animal considered more acceptable at sporting events. But the students stood their ground and cheered for their inner banana slug. And after a solid five-year fight they won over the administration. I love a good underdog story!

    As I’m in a season of fighting for my own inner banana slug, this story made my soul sing. Because it’s not just about a mascot—it’s about refusing to conform to the patterns and behaviors that make up the status quo of this world.

    “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

    ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    Sing your quirky, unruly notes

    So today, friend—Stop hiding your heart’s banana slug. Those quirky little characteristics are the unruly notes that will sing to others as you walk your unique path.

    And if no one else wants to listen to your heart’s weird little song, I do.

    From My Unruly Garden to yours, I’ll be over here singing with you in the wild, loving every bit of it.

    Devotional Prompt:

    What part of your God-given identity have you been tucking away to fit in? What quirky gift is waiting to shine in your Unruly Garden (your heart space)?

  • Learning how to love like God loves.

    Learning how to love like God loves.

    My prayer in 2002 planted the seed of my current ministry.

    On August 5, 2002, when I was on my knees crying out to God in desperation, shattered from navigating patterns of abuse I couldn’t name at the time, I prayed this prayer in my journal. 

    God, I want to surrender my heart to You. . .I need you to show me how my heart is supposed to work. I want to learn how I am supposed to use my heart to love. All kinds of love. Please teach me, Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

    23 years later, I now understand the phrase—“Be careful what you pray for.” 

    Ooof. Even back then I knew learning how to love went beyond the specific situation I was grappling with, yet this was going to be a tall order that would take way longer than a season of heartache to unravel. 

    This prayer would launch me into a wilderness season that would include 23 years of navigating tests of my faith that would give me the opportunity to learn how to love, all kinds of love. 

    This would mean, I would have countless opportunities to learn how to love my enemies, as I walked through deep-rooted betrayals, patterns of abuse, manipulated truth, lies against my character, rejection and more. 

    And all of this would lead to a moment of clarity in 2023, when the “scales fell off my eyes” and I could see more clearly— The enemy was using my “idols” to blind me. 

    I was chasing love, identity and validation in all of the wrong places, instead of finding it in Jesus, who had been there all along, calling me “home” to Him in the whispers that we miss when the noise of this world (pain, injustice, suffering, hardship, performance pressure) gets loud.

    Giving God my whole heart.

    When we rest in God’s truth, we learn to love like Jesus loves—from a more healthy place of humility, not a wounded place of pride and shame. 

    Once I gave God my whole heart, He began uprooting the patterns of pride (judgement) and shame (condemnation) this world conditioned within me, and began cultivating a more humble heart posture (curiosity) so I could learn to love with my whole heart. 

    “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.”

    ‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭36‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    This process is continuous. We never really get it “right” because the point is to have a relationship with Jesus, allowing Him to mold us, shape us, and form us so we bear Him image more than this world’s.

    He has this beautiful, wild, abundant garden for us that unfolds over time, and the enemy makes it his mission to kill, steal and destroy this abundance through subtle decoys.

    I had to spend time with God in “My Unruly Garden” (heart space) learning how to love myself first, so I could see myself the way He created me to be; not the way this world conditioned me to be, through years of silent suffering through patterns of abuse; patterns that I can now name after 8 years of counseling and 23 years of God writing my testimony. 

    And we continue to peel back the layers of conditioning, one painful, yet cathartic petal at a time. 

    Unearthing the relics of my past.

    After I filed for divorce in the summer of 2023, before I even had this theme or project He gave me, I was pouring over old journals to unearth the relics of my past.

    My heart wasn’t just in broken pieces; it was pulverized, and I was desperate and exhausted. I needed to figure out why I kept repeating the same cycles.

    Why did I keep pouring myself into people who continued to deeply betray me? And I refused to play the victim. I needed to understand this because I knew it was my own decisions and disobedience to God’s instruction that kept leading to my own downfall.

    As I read this prayer in my journal entry from 23 years ago, tears began streaming down my face and this led to an uncontrollable wail.

    I didn’t have words for it at that point. Looking back, I now know this was Romans 8:26-28 actively unfolding to align me with His will that I am just now discovering 23 years later. Most Christians love verse 28, but I find the most impact in verse 26, because half the time we don’t know what we need, but our Heavenly Father does and the Holy Spirit is our advocate who groans for us in the uncertainty. As I continue to step out in blind faith, I find so much comfort in this, as I rest in God’s love and grace.

    “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

    Romans 8:26-28

    God’s love for us is beyond comprehension

    God’s love and its effect on the human heart is a complexity that I will continue to spend the rest of my life (and ministry) studying.

    And I look forward to planting the seeds of God’s love that I’ve collected and, will continue to collect, to learn how to love, all kinds of love.

    I leave you with this scripture and my prayer for us:

    “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭18‬-‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    From ”My Unruly Garden” to yours,

    Stacey